They're Starting To Line Up

It was only a matter of time until someone back in the States declared her love that they wanted a piece of Olympic God Michael Phelps.

And it seems that she didn't waste anytime to get a head start on her competition.

From DeadSpin and Yahoo! Entertainment:

When it comes to Michael Phelps, Lindsay Lohan is apparently willing to postpone this whole lesbian thing. While interviewing Michael's mom Debbie on Monday, Hobbit-like Access Hollywood correspondent Billy Bush received a text message from Lohan, which he proceeded to show Debbie while on the air. Mom's reaction was pretty great.

Lohan's message: "Tell him he's fucking amazing, and I want to meet him."

Debbie's reaction? "OK, Lindsay!!! -- Delete! Delete! Delete!"

Phelps better take as many condoms that will fit in his bag for the Olympic Village Center, he is going to need them back home.

Like I said before, I am hoping to come across a genie in the next week.

My first wish? To be Phelps' penis for a day. Second wish? For Michael to hit all the Hollywood starlets' hot spots all day long.

And my final wish would to start the next day with a Los Angeles ghetto dog in both of my hands.

More Than A Man, Less Than A God

I know I am a little late on a Michael Phelps entry after he went eight-for-eight in his quest for domination, but it is never too late to praise an unrivaled competitor that represented the United States in the Olympics.

He is the reason I expressed more interest than usual for the Games, and once he started he had me glued to the television. He may have been the fish, but he had me hooked from the beginning. And since he finished off the best Olympic run in the history of mankind, my enthusiasm for the Games has waned.

Phelps had his goal set up and he dedicated all of his time to achieve it. I look forward to one day telling my children about the Olympics in which Phelps tore the competition a new one. There is already a DVD for sale about his run, and I almost picked up my cell phone to buy it after seeing the commercial.

Admit it, you got chills when you watched Phelps during these Games. I watched numerous YouTube videos of his victories, not only to re-watch his excellence, but to hear the people in the background of the homemade videos and their joy in their screaming as they watched him fight for another gold.

I even got chills watching this:


Now I need to look into becoming Phelps' penis for a day. I swear, if he touches Alicia Sacramone he will never be able to get in a pool again.