New Sports Drink: Beer

Spanish researchers have conducted a study stating that God was a beer drinker beer is a better post-activity drink than water.

Prof Garzon asked a group of students to do strenuous exercise in temperatures of around 40ºC (104ºF). Half were given a pint of beer, while the others received the same volume of water.

Prof Garzon, who announced the results at a press conference in Granada beneath a banner declaring "Beer, Sport, Health", said the hydration effect in those who drank beer was "slightly better".

Spanish researchers are cool. I knew Morris Buttermaker was a genius. He made the right move by giving those kids some brews after their final game against the hated Yankees.

And I knew I was in the right when I took some suds to my baseball games in the NABA. These researchers deserve a Nobel Prize.

No word yet on whether or not smoking once you have a buzz from your post-activity beer is healthy as well.

Bobby Boucher could not be reached for comment.

Drinking rules...

I am really emotional any time that my favorite team is in the playoffs.

I remember when I was 19 I had scored a nice date with a Latina hottie who was the hostess at a restaurant. The Lakers were in the playoffs at the time, trying to go back-to-back.

Her and I went on a date following a Lakers loss, not good. The whole time I thought about the game and ignored anything she was saying to me. Conversations were ruined because all I was thinking about was how the Lakers ruined the opportunity to go undefeated in the playoffs. That stupid step-over-stomp that Allen Iverson did over Tyronne Lue still is a vivid image in my head.

Needless to say, we never went out again but the Lakers won the championship, so all was not lost.

If you are going to be an obnoxious fan, do so where it is welcome. And it is best to keep your mouth shut if your team is not in the playoffs.

Boston Red Sox fans, I hope none of you are sitting in my section on Sunday... yet I know all of you have been scouring and paying any price to see the Red Sox (you should have bought tickets for a game IN Boston). This is Orange County, if you like Boston so much, go back.

*Bar pictured: Mutt Lynch's in Newport Beach - I am going to have to visit this establishment. If you head there before I do, please let me know.*

"They're Not That Drunk!"

"Cheeky Bastards!"
If you know what movie that is from you are officially my friend forever.

Well I found another reason for the French haters to keep on hating.
As reported in the New Zealand Herald, under French law, no alcohol can be sold inside sporting stadiums.
According to the story a couple of Aussies did not know this and kept spending their money on non-alcoholic beer to keep their buzz up. Poor bastards did not know about the French law and got a little curious when no one was buying beer during the rugby match in which Australia destroyed Japan 91-3.

Yes I know it is not imperative to have beer accompany a sporting event. But it sure makes it a hell-of-a-lot more enjoyable. Why do you think Cleveland Browns fans still go to their football games? For the beer and parties of course!

Now, if you do not know what movie the quotes derive from... then you are missing out my friends.
Do yourself a favor and see Beer Fest.

Gems like this are in the movie:

Barry Badrinath: [after breaking beer mug with a ping pong spike] What do you think about that, fuckhead?
Hammacher: [Takes a bite of glass from the broken mug] What do you think about that, headfuck?
-----
Jan Wolfhouse: So yeah, I heard you got fired from the brewery?
Landfill: [Landfill gets mad, throws his trophy] God damn brewery! You know that brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drink 45 of them, and I'm the asshole!
-----
Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

Now I have just caused myself some depression for missing the Stone Brewing Company beer festival for the third consecutive year. Damn where is Margarita when I need her, she would have reminded me.
Anyways, if anyone has a beer fest of their own, please send me an invite.