El Wingador Is Coming Back

As some of you may know, I am a fan of competitive eating.

I used to do it for fun against no one in particular but to make my friends laugh and impress girls. Apparently I was wrong on the girls being impressed part.

I finally decided that $10 worth of food off the Wendy's dollar menu was no longer worth it after my six pack was lost and my wallet was getting thinner. Beer would be my competitive sport from now on.

I have digressed. Five-time wing champion Bill "El Wingador" Simmons is coming out of retirement.

Five-time Wing Bowl champ Bill "El Wingador" Simmons is coming out of retirement to try to regain his title against two-time winner Joey Chestnut, of San Jose, Calif. He better be training. Wingador's a sweet guy and a great eater, but Chestnut, who won this year's Nathan's Hot Dog Contest, is a stone-cold eating machine.

This is going to be epic... Dusty Rhodes El Wingador versus the "Kobayashi killer." SpikeTV better air this live. El Wingador, that name owns.

If Chestnut pulls this off, his next challenge should be against Richard LeFevre in both short-form pickled Jalapenos and Huevos Rancheros. LeFevre holds the current record for both and is lucky I do not competitive eat anymore or else I would hold those records.

A Mexican needs to hold those records and I am sad I can no longer compete.