NFL Week 5 Picks

I AM moving over .500 this week on my NFL picks in my overall standings. Right now the record stands at 14-16, but that is okay, it is early. So hell has to freeze over for me to stay under .500.

I got a new $12 toy accessory for my roadtrip grill today, so I am in a chipper mood. Breakfast for everyone!


Anyway, time for some picks:

Miami Dolphins @ Houston Texans - The Dolphins run defense has been horrible this year, and that is why they lost to the Raiders last week. Houston backup RB Ron Dayne is going to have a good day at home (I knew I should not have dropped him in my fantasy league). Houston.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Kansas City Chiefs - As an avid watcher of the AFC South, I know that the Jaguars do not play well after their bye week. I like the defense of both teams, but like the receiving weapons of the Chiefs a little more. Kansas City.

Cleveland Browns @ New England Patriots - The Patriots look insanely good right now... *chunks coming up*... and looked primed to move 5-0 going into their matchup at Dallas in week 6. Patriots at home, good night now. New England.

Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints - A bye week might be just what the Saints needed. The Panthers may be without Jake Delhomme, and his replacement David Carr was unable to find receiver Steve Smith enough to make a difference in last week's loss. New Orleans.

New York Jets @ New York Giants - The rejuvenated Giants defense looks to make the Jets offense a living hell. This is my favorite version of the Clippers-Lakers in the NFL regarding home field advantage. Jets are the Clippers, Giants the Lakers. Giants.

Seattle Seahawks @ Pittsburgh Steelers - This is going to be a good game and I will not be mad if I pick this one wrong. Both teams are 3-1 and have both shown strong defensive efforts so far this season. I am going on the safe side and picking the home team. Pittsburgh.

Arizona Cardinals @ St. Louis Rams - Kurt Warner returns to St. Louis to make Rams fans wish they still had them on the sidelines. The Rams will be starting Gus Frerotte in place of injured Marc Bulger. The Rams defense made my uncle want to cry last week. Arizona.

Atlanta Falcons @ Tennessee Titans - Vince Young and the Titans look to continue their good start against Joey Harrington and the Falcons. Young better run for 3 TDs and throw for one more. Tennessee.

Detroit Lions @ Washington Redskins - I chose against the Lions last week even though I wanted to pick them (damn you Griese!). John Kitna is throwing the ball all over the field, but may be without rookie receiver Calvin Johnson again this week. The Redskins will be without a key receiver in Santana Moss and may have limited play from Clinton Portis. Detroit.

Tampa Bay Bucs @ Indianapolis Colts - The Bucs have quietly moved to 3-1 and may pose a threat to the Colts if some key guys are out. Joseph Addai, Marvin Harrison, and Bob Sanders may all be out for the game on Sunday. If Addai and Sanders are out, I can see the Bucs winning this one. But the Colts will probably have one of them. Indianapolis.

San Diego Chargers @ Denver Broncos - Chargers, Chargers. What am I going to do with you? I pick you each week and you lose on me. I think Norv Turner will finally wise up and give the ball to LT in the second half. The Broncos run defense is not that strong, as seen last week when the Colts ran wild on them. San Diego.

Baltimore Ravens @ San Francisco 49ers - No Alex Smith and the Ravens defense in town means trouble for the Niners. Baltimore.

Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers - Packers have Brett Favre and the Bears have a two-headed monster in Grossman-Griese; and when I say monster I mean it in a bad way. Lambeau, national TV, division game. Green Bay.

Dallas Cowboys @ Buffalo Bills - The Cowboys look like the top dog in the NFC and that makes me sick. Dallas.