NFL Week 9 Picks

The weekend is finally upon us, and the biggest regular season NFL game in a decade is going to take place on Sunday at 4:15 PM ET on CBS. The media is deeming this game "Super Bowl XLII 1/2," but it should be called something else if they had put any thought into it.

The Colts and Patriots are clearly the top two teams in the NFL and are a step above all of the teams in the AFC. They WILL be meeting in January in the AFC Championship game. The winner will then head to Arizona for the "real" Super Bowl. So in essence, there will be three Super Bowls this year. Sunday, the AFC Championship game, and Colts/Pats v. NFC whipping boy.

I reworked the arithmetic and found that this game should be deemed "Super Bowl XLII 1/3" (patent pending, First To Third).

As always I used the opportunity to showcase my photoshop skills.

The breakdowns on this week's game may seem a little short, and for good reason. I am a Colts fan and am geeked up about Sunday, and could care less about the other games. (But do care about my nerd alert fantasy football players)

Onto the picks:

San Francisco 49ers @ Atlanta Falcons - The Falcons are a mess off and on the field. And the 49ers are making the Patriots look like geniuses (the Pats own the 49ers first-round pick in next year's draft). This is a "flip-a-coin" pick. Dedicated to my buddies who like the Niners. San Francisco.

Cincinnati Bengals @ Buffalo Bills - Bengals wake up for this one. JP Losman pissed me off in fantasy (why did I waste a draft pick on that bum?!?!). Cincinnati.

Denver Broncos @ Detroit Lions - Lions RB Kevin Jones is going to have another good day against the Broncos defense. Detroit is 3-0 at home this year, and Denver is on a short week. Detroit.

Green Bay Packers @ Kansas City Chiefs - One of the top NFC teams is losing this week, but it is not the Packers this week. Green Bay.

San Diego Chargers @ Minnesota Vikings - The Chargers are gaining some momentum each week, and will need it looking ahead to their matchup with the Colts. San Diego.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New Orleans Saints - Yes, the Saints offense has looked good recently, but they are facing a tough Jaguars defense. Jacksonville.

Washington Redskins @ New York Jets - Kellen Clemens gets the start at QB over Pennington. Redskins looking to take out their frustrations from last week on the Jets. "You are a dick Bill Belichick" signs to be up all over the stadium. Washington.

Arizona Cardinals @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Bucs QB Jeff Garcia is going to bounce back from last week's performance. Plus, a Pirate can kill a Cardinal. Tampa Bay.

Carolina Panthers @ Tennessee Titans - The Titans running game is better than the Panthers right now, and that will be the difference. Vince Young, why did I draft you in fantasy as well?!?! Tennessee.

Seattle Seahawks @ Cleveland Browns - The Dawg Pound is the difference in this one. Derek Anderson was available to pick up but I kept Vince Young. What an idiot. Cleveland.

Houston Texans @ Oakland Raiders - Raider Nation can sleep good Sunday night, their team is going to win. No word yet on whether my Mom is going to rock her Raiders jersey on Sunday (she lives in Texas). Oakland.

Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles - The sad state of Eagles coach Andy Reid is going to motivate his players. They will rally around their coach and "win one for the Gipper." The Cowboys are the top-tier team that I said is going to lose this week. Philadelphia.

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers - The Steelers will be looking to create some space in the AFC North. Steelers offense is better. Pittsburgh.

New England Patriots @ Indianapolis Colts - This is it. Good vs. Evil. Man vs. Machine. November 4. I have had two dreams about this game in the last two days. In one, the Colts won by 3. Last night, I was actually at the game and Colts won by 1 with a game-winning field goal.

Offense - Sure, the Pats are putting up more points this year but they are lacking in one category that the Colts are striving in... the run game. Joseph Addai is a beast and can carry the Colts when opponents are shutting down the passing lanes. Also, the Colts are playing in a tougher division this year. Colts.

Defense - The Colts defensive has improved, and is a big reason why the Colts are on their current 11-game winning streak. The Pats, like always, have a strong defense, especially with Rodney Harrison lurking in the backfield. Patriots.

Coach - The evil mastermind vs. the lovable next door neighbor. Both men have kept their squad at the top of the AFC the last several years. One is running up the scoreboard, while the other used to run up the score. Draw.

The Colts have flown under the radar because of the Pats dominance this year. Every time you watch the Pats you have to ask yourself, "how do you stop these guys?". The Colts are going to use disrespect towards the defending champions as their fuel. The Pats are using "spygate" and last year's loss in the AFC Championship game to the Colts, as their fuel.

All the hype is well worth it.
Colts.

Last week's record: 10-3
Overall record (since week 3): 51-33

What To Watch...

This weekend.

Okay I may have jumped the gun by posting this on Thursday, but you need ample time to plan your weekend accordingly. You can thank me later.

Friday, which is technically not the weekend, but you can kick off your shoes without work on your mind. So here you go:

Detroit Pistons @ Orlando Magic, 7:00 PM ET
Although this may not be on TV in your area (find a nice bar that has access to it), this is a great matchup because it has the veteran-savvy Pistons facing the upstart Magic. Yes, it is early in the NBA season but the "W" in the column has the same effect in April. The Pistons are going to have their hands full with Magic center Dwight Howard, the man-child. The guy is the next coming of Shaq, he is a BEAST. His game is getting better and better as he is practiced on his jump shot over the summer.

This will be a nice early test for the Magic to compare themselves to a top-tier team in the East. I like the Magic's chances with Jameer Nelson and newly-acquired Rashard Lewis there to help Howard.

MLS: FC Dallas @ Houston Dynamo, 8:30 PM ET, Western Conference Semifinal series
Hey, there are soccer fans out there that watch the American version.... oh nevermind, watch Euro soccer.

Saturday, all College Football:
Arizona State @ Oregon Ducks, 6:40 PM ET, ESPN
#4 and #5 teams in the nation battling it out for their Pac-10 championship lives. Arizona St. is 8-0 under first-year coach Dennis Erickson, and Oregon is 7-1 after defeating USC last week. In my personal opinion, the Pac-10 is the best conference in the nation right now. We can argue about the Pac-10/SEC conferences over a couple of brews.

LSU @ Alabama, 5:00 PM ET, CBS
Nick Saban will be facing his former team and is looking to spoil LSU's aspirations for a national title. This will be a good one.

Rutgers @ UConn, 7:15 PM ET, ESPNU
Upset special of the week. UConn is ranked 13th and is 3-0 in Big East play. Rutgers are crashing the party this week.

Sunday:
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles, 8:15 PM ET, NBC
Blah blah blah. NFC East. Owens back in Philly. Romo got a new contract. Cool.

New England Patriots @ Indianapolis Colts, 4:15 PM ET, CBS
No doubt this game has been jammed down your throat this week. As it should be. This is the best rivalry in the NFL right now, and this will be the game that decides who gets to play at home in the AFC Championship game when the two face each again in the playoffs. Each team is kissing each other's ass right now, and looking for the edge to pump each other up. Anakin Skywalker v. Obi Won Kenobi (Brady-Manning). Emperor Palpatine v. Samuel L. Jackson bitch! Mace Windu (Belichick-Dungy).

This is the first of three Super Bowls we are getting to watch this season. The second will be when the two battle it out in the AFC Championship game. And the third and final will be when one of these teams beats up on whoever comes out of the NFC. More on this game in my NFL Week 9 picks.

Monday, to cure those "Monday blues":
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers, 8:30 PM ET, ESPN
A nice hangover remedy from the big Sunday game going on at 4:15 PM ET on CBS. Did you hear about that game? This Monday night game will provide a good background distraction while you are talking about Sunday's game between, I think it is, the Colts and Pats? But seriously, this is an important game between these AFC North teams.

South Park owns.